Friday, July 20, 2012

Warcraft Lore for Dummies - Part VIII


CHAPTER VIII - THE BETRAYER TOTALLY FEL FOR YOU 


Malfurion and Illidan were twin brothers. If you’ve read the stories above you know that Malfurion’s claim to fame is in the War of the Ancients when he helped stop Azshara from opening a portal to let Sargeras into Azeroth. At that time Illidan was pissed off for ‘stealing away’ the sexy pocket healer Tyrande and instead of helping in the fight he was taking water out of the Well of Eternity and filling up vials with it. He really didn’t like the idea that the source of the elves’ power and immortality was going to be destroyed.

The satyr Xavius was helping to poison Illidan’s thoughts at the time. Tyrande was never really interested in Illidan, but Xavius manipulated Illidan into making him jealous, and he also made some pretty good sales pitches for the Burning Legion. Illidan got the idea of stealing the Demon Soul from Deathwing to close the portal that was threatening the Well of Eternity. Sargeras discovered Illidan’s plan and from his place out in the nether he decided to give him a “gift” by burning out his eyeballs. In their place were placed orbs that could see all forms of magic, and his body was covered in magic tattoos. But I mean, seeing magic is a nice trick, but OMG. EYES. BURNED. OUT. Be thankful you’re not on his Christmas list.

So Illidan told everyone about his idea, and they liked it, and Broxigar, Korialstrasz, and Malfurion stole the Demon Soul, but Azshara captured Malfurion and there was a big fight and the spell blew up and the Well of Eternity was destroyed and Malfurion and the four remaining dragon aspects cast a spell on it so Deathwing could never find it again.

After the big-badda-boom that destroyed the well (and a good portion of the planet’s surface), Illidan went to Mount Hyjal and poured three of his seven vials into a lake, creating a new Well of Eternity. Malfurion was really pissed off and threw Illidan into a prison under Hyjal for ten thousand years, guarded by Maiev and her soldiers.

When the Burning Legion returned and the scourge started invading Tyrande busted Illidan out of prison to get him to help stop them. Malfurion was pisssed again, but Illidan wanted to prove he was a good guy so he went to Felwood to fight the demons. There he met up with Arthas, who had the sword Frostmourne and was busy killing everything and turning them into scourge. The two of them fought to a draw. Illidan wanted to know why Arthas was there, and he told him about the Skull of Gul’dan, which was somewhere in Felwood corrupting it.

Illidan took the bait and went to find it, and it was guarded by a demon gate. So he’s fighting an endless stream of demons and he figured the only way to win is to use the Skull, so he broke the seal on it and absorbed its powers and turned into a demon himself. Illidan destroyed all the demons and their leader Tichondrius. Malfurion was even more pissed at Illidan for corrupting himself and he banished Illidan from the woods.

Feeling totally unappreciated, Illidan left and teamed up with the naga to raid the Tomb of Sargeras and find the artifact known as the Eye of Eternity. Maiev tried to stop him but Illidan used the Eye to collapse the Tomb on top of her in revenge for being imprisoned for 100 centuries in Hyjal. He missed, she escaped. Then he and the naga general Vashj were confronted by Maiev, Tyrande, and Malfurion, and they crushed the naga armies and Illidan had to run away.

Then Illidan sailed to Lordaeron and went to Dalaran and started to use the Eye of Eternity to break apart the glaciers in Icecrown to destroy Ner’zhul’s frozen throne, but Malfurion and Maiev interrupted him again and the spell failed. Both of the brothers were pissed at each other because Malfurion thought Illidan was trying to tear the world apart and Illidan thought Malfurion was protecting the frozen throne, and both of them thought that their sweetie Tyrande had been killed by zombies.

Illidan took the naga to rescue Tyrande and Malfurion was grateful, and the two brothers decided that they should stop fighting each other, and Illidan was like “fine, whatever” and popped a portal to Outland and left Azeroth. Maiev continued to chase Illidan because she was a tenacious bitch and her purpose in life was to put Illidan back in prison. Illidan was captured, but then rescued by Vashj and Kael’Thas, the leader of the blood elves. Illidan ran around closing most of the demon portals in Outland and then together they kicked the pit lord Magtheridon out of the Black Temple and Illidan threw him in in jail under Hellfire Ciadel.

Then Illidan and his naga and Kael’Thas’ blood elves marched on Northrend to face Ner’zhul. While he was fighting the undead insect armies of Anub’arak, Ner’zhul used the opportunity to summon Arthas to him and they joined together in one body/soul to create the Lich King. Then when Illidan showed up the Lich King royally kicked his ass. Vashj and Kael said “ok maybe this is a bad idea”, so they retreated to Outland and took Illidan with them... where he sat in his castle and waited for 25 prepared adventurers to storm it and kill him for lewt.

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